How Do I Love Thee? Let Me Count The Ways . . .

I love watermelon . . .

It means summer to me . . .

It means parties and playing and juicy sweet goodness!

Imagine my surprise to find an old fashioned seeded watermelon at the store the other day! I told my husband, I WANT THAT!!! So he got it for me!

I'm a cheap date.

When I got it home I had to decide what I wanted to do with it. It's a lot of watermelon after all and nobody in my family has the passion for it quite the way I do. I thought I'd make ya'll a cocktail because watermelon cocktails are THE BEST! Plus it's a holiday weekend and you're going to be needing some beautiful refreshing cocktails right?

Then I thought . . . (dangerous I know!) I thought this is the perfect watermelon for a watermelon basket! I should cut a watermelon basket so everybody can see how EASY it is.

But . . . nobody will be impressed anymore when I bring one to a party . . .

Oh well! It's more important that everybody have beautiful watermelon baskets!

So now like all those fancy chefs on television I give you watermelon two ways . . .

Wash up your watermelon and start to give it little pokes to see which two sides are the most "stable." I'm going to split it in half so I want two stable sides opposite each other!

Okay, I've found them! If your watermelon doesn't have any stable sides just throw them on a tray of ice when you're serving. People will think you're trying to keep them cold. When I have a truly twirly one I'll occasionally slice a flat surface into it. Remember you're the boss of the watermelon!

My stem ends are pretty much centered so I'll work around them. You want a nice wide knife with a good point on it.

The further you stick the knife in, the bigger the point.

Just stick the point at the top of the last slice and push in! It'll slice down from here.

Flip the knife over and it'll slice in the upward direction!

Now my watermelon was so perfectly ripe it actually cracked a little occasionally. But nobody noticed. Well, I didn't notice.

I'm half way there!

I had to fudge a little to get it to match up at the end. No big deal.

Now flip it on it's side and push the two halves apart!

Voila! You're not even noticing that they're not perfect are you!

Mmmmm! Fruit with seeds tends to be so much sweeter than their non-seeded counterparts.

Now about those seeds! They tend to run in channels in the watermelon so go ahead and . . .

. . . and dig out those channels. This pure juicy goodness is going into our 2nd watermelon recipe so throw it in a colander over a bowl to collect the juice.

I just cut out chunks of melon . . .

Throw any seedy parts in the colander.

I just chunk up the now seedless watermelon. Now if you're finicky you can use a melon baller and cut nice little balls out of the melon. But I want to eat as much watermelon as possible.

Scrape the rind pretty clean.

That's all goodness for the cocktails!

Now you have two beautiful, disposable, bowls to carry fruit salad in! I have a tendency to cut up a cantaloupe and honey dew melon and throw all the chunks in the halves. You'll end up with a nice big bowl of leftover fruit too.

In general this whole operations takes about 45 minutes. So it's not that bad for a start to finish party dish.

Now on to the fun part!

You can use any type of colander you have! Just push the stuff through it with a wood spoon or potato masher.

You can even squeeze the pulp with your nice clean hands . . .

If you're tired you can even throw it in the blender . . .

 . . . I chose a low speed so as not to break up too many seeds.

There it goes!

Now that great big watermelon gave me about 3 Liters of watermelon pulp and juice.

Which is so convenient because it means this whole bottle of vodka is perfect! Raspberry and watermelon are delicious together! You could use a melon vodka with success though. But raspberry is my favorite!

Now for a food safe, freezer safe, container! This ice cream container will do.

If you pour it in the container nice and slow . . .

. . . all the bits of seed will stay in the bottom of the bowl. Not that they'll hurt you! Swallowing one of these won't make you pregnant.

Add the liquor! Then throw it in the freezer.

Through the magic of the Internet . . .

It's done! It is perfect sweet and perfectly refreshing!

The color! The color! It just screams SUMMER IS HERE!

This drink still has plenty of the watermelon pulp in it so I think it technically qualifies as a smoothie.

So there's fiber . . . and no added sugar, no high fructose corn syrup! It's for your health really. Look mine even has leafy greens included!

Frozen Watermelon Cooler

4 parts pureed watermelon pulp
1 part raspberry vodka

Mix together and freeze!

Puckery Pithy Pow Punch!

I love a big old glass of real lemonade! It's refreshing and delicious and full of vitamin C. I usually love a dessert that's full of lemons and berries for Easter. This year due to the ever changing date of Easter it was my sweet Little Buddy's birthday. We had to have birthday cake! A chocolate and peppermint birthday cake to be specifically.

Being a generally willful person who likes her own way I was determined to integrate lemon and berries somewhere else in the day. I chose cocktail hour!

You're going to need lots of lemons! Four to be exact. Slice up two of your prettiest ones.

Put them in the bottom of a container and throw some sugar on them!

Now a pinch of salt will cut down on the bitterness of the lemon pith. Pith is so aptly named! If you put it in your mouth you can't help but say "pppiiiiiththth!" as you spit it out.

Now we macerate! That's what they call it at least. I call it stirring and squishing the lemons with sugar. This will get them to release their juices. The sugar will also grind against the peels and become flavored with the natural flavorful oils. There's a reason the outside of citrus is called zest! It's where all the POW is. Maybe they should of called it the POW? Then lemons could have pucker, pith, and POW!

Oh well, they never ever call me before these decisions are made . . .

Anyway, go ahead and leave the lemons alone for a few minutes. The sugar can complete it's own work.

Look! You can see the juice coming out on the bottom. Sugar is so special! I wish I had taken organic chemistry, I could of made you diagrams showing you why it's so special.

Time to deal with the remaining lemons! Go ahead and juice 'em.

Darling daughter does such a good job!

Put the juice in!

Now since the price of berries is skyrocketing I decided I'd try jam! I figured they'd already smashed and sugared them for me! Why not try it?

It looked so dark I was worried! I went ahead and mixed it around so that the lemon juice had thinned the jam out a little.

It's Easter so let's kick it up a notch!

I don't want to kill all my bubbles with stirring so I decided to pour in just enough to cover the lemons and stir it till all the sugar and jam were melted. Kind of like a syrup they'd use at a soda fountain.

There everything is dissolved. Time for the rest of the water.

Oh it's so pink and festive! So bubbly and fruit!

This was big on sweet and sour! That makes it perfect for ham, sausage or even hot dogs. The raspberries, lemons AND the seltzer water have strong acidic profiles. You need to add an amazing amount of sugar to get this palatable for your average kid! Adults like it a little more sour.

Sparkling Raspberry-Lemonade

4 lemons, washed
1/2 cup-1 cup sugar
pinch of salt
1/2 cup raspberry preserves
2 liters seltzer water or lemon lime soda

Slice two of the lemons and place in pitcher. Sprinkle with sugar and salt and stir up, vigorously, until sugar has coated all slices. Let rest for 2-5 minutes. Juice remaining lemons and pour into pitcher. Add preserves and stir until sugar is mixed in well. Add 2 cups of seltzer water and stir until sugar has dissolved completely. Add remaining sparkling water and stir gently. Serve over ice.